The letter that needs to be sent.

Dear Obstetrician Office,

You are a Doctor's Office. In addition, many of your patients are Great with Child, like yours truly. In many cases, such as mine, being great with child coincides with weight gain, large abdominal girth, and just overall increased fatness.

The pre-natal experience is wonderful...
the joy of carrying new life,
the anticipation of a sweet baby,
the hopes and dreams all wrapped up in another child.

The pre-natal experience has it's downside too...
the aforementioned bodily growth,
the anticipation of gut-wrenching, stabbing pain,
the frequent appointments, exams, pokes and prods,
and again, the anticipation of being taken over by pain that I never knew could exist.

But, beyond all of this, I return yet again to this topic of "increased abdominal girth" and to what I deem to be the worst possible part of coming to your office at this point in my pregnancy. Your sweet medical assistant leads me to a cold, uninviting room, politely asks me to remove everything from the waist down, and says "Here is your drape. The Doctor will be in 'soon'."

The word "soon" apparently has different meanings for those of us waiting INSIDE the room from those of you who wait "OUTSIDE" the room. From inside, I hear those of you outside talking about pop-culture, weekend plans, etc. Maybe you need a hint of what goes on inside. We sit, waiting, waiting, and waiting some more for you to come in. That would be bad in and of itself, but the drape, or small white napkin, as I lovingly refer to it, is what really gets me going.

Really??? I mean, really? This is what you ask me to wrap myself in? In case no one has ever complained to you before, let me make it clear. That "napkin" does not fit around even an average sized 36 week pregnant women. As if getting it to wrap around me isn't challenging enough, figuring out how to not let it rip when I heave myself up onto your cold table is even harder. And, since it is not large enough, we emotionally-charged and over-sensitive large pregnant women also have to decide where to leave the gap. The back...front....side???? So then, as anxiety rises, as sometimes even tears begin to well, as embarrassment sets in, some of us bolder patients go digging around all of the drawers and cabinets in your office to find more napkins. And let me tell you, when I do, relief overcomes me as I wrap myself in as many darn napkins as I please. This may explain why you were unable to find any napkins for the next unsuspecting, sweet woman you brought to Exam Room 1.

But, for the sake of my sanity and some other not-so-bold patients, can you please re-think your draping situation? Maybe you could offer 4 to every woman, maybe you could find a new manufacturer. If money is the issue, maybe you could just ask each and every woman to bring their own sheet.

But please, do something.

Sincerely,
Your biggest and most loyal drape-hater.