The end is near.

I sit, in the quiet, while 3 little cuties are napping, and several things come to mind as my pregnancy comes to an end.

~Baby is still moving all over...very thankful for that. Slightly frightened at times when it feels like he/she is trying it's darndest to kick open my side and come out. Wrong way, sweetie. Please figure this out...promptly.

~Pretty much eating everything in site lately. Not sure why, because I can I suppose.

~Weight watchers is looming overhead like an ever-nearing enemy. (See above)

~Since WW is not here QUITE yet, I am pretty irritated that the only snack I could just find to eat was a tootsie roll and mini-hershey bar from Halloween. So irritated as to let it stay in the drawer? No. The empty wrappers lay next to me.

~Bought excessive amounts of post-pregnancy clothes while still pregnant. Good after-Christmas sales I suppose. Hoping they fit, and hoping they give me some motivation for WW. Also hoping the sales ladies weren't too irritated when they saw me with my big belly and their smaller clothes head into their dressing room.

~Will this baby be a boy or girl? Loving that we didn't find out, but still trying to convince Johnny that he is happy as well. He may have bitterness issues.

~When will this child come? Actually not feeling as anxious as I thought I would, but at 39 weeks and 3 days, labor would be "welcome" at any point now, and is pretty much required in the next 14 days. Makes me happy to meet my baby, makes me want to hurl to think of labor.

~Feeling pretty prepared...everything is cleaned and washed and ready for baby.

~"Baby" Norbeck has to receive a bit more specific of a name at some point. Shoot. Maybe we are not as prepared as we thought. Any last minute suggestions for either sex welcome.

~Ready for a nap, and just realized maybe my baby has not yet felt ready to come because it's mother has not taken ONE pregnancy photo and it already is scarred that the other 3 siblings will have pictures of themselves in utero. Shoot again.

~OK, situation remedied. Now, sweet baby, let's get moving.

The letter that needs to be sent.

Dear Obstetrician Office,

You are a Doctor's Office. In addition, many of your patients are Great with Child, like yours truly. In many cases, such as mine, being great with child coincides with weight gain, large abdominal girth, and just overall increased fatness.

The pre-natal experience is wonderful...
the joy of carrying new life,
the anticipation of a sweet baby,
the hopes and dreams all wrapped up in another child.

The pre-natal experience has it's downside too...
the aforementioned bodily growth,
the anticipation of gut-wrenching, stabbing pain,
the frequent appointments, exams, pokes and prods,
and again, the anticipation of being taken over by pain that I never knew could exist.

But, beyond all of this, I return yet again to this topic of "increased abdominal girth" and to what I deem to be the worst possible part of coming to your office at this point in my pregnancy. Your sweet medical assistant leads me to a cold, uninviting room, politely asks me to remove everything from the waist down, and says "Here is your drape. The Doctor will be in 'soon'."

The word "soon" apparently has different meanings for those of us waiting INSIDE the room from those of you who wait "OUTSIDE" the room. From inside, I hear those of you outside talking about pop-culture, weekend plans, etc. Maybe you need a hint of what goes on inside. We sit, waiting, waiting, and waiting some more for you to come in. That would be bad in and of itself, but the drape, or small white napkin, as I lovingly refer to it, is what really gets me going.

Really??? I mean, really? This is what you ask me to wrap myself in? In case no one has ever complained to you before, let me make it clear. That "napkin" does not fit around even an average sized 36 week pregnant women. As if getting it to wrap around me isn't challenging enough, figuring out how to not let it rip when I heave myself up onto your cold table is even harder. And, since it is not large enough, we emotionally-charged and over-sensitive large pregnant women also have to decide where to leave the gap. The back...front....side???? So then, as anxiety rises, as sometimes even tears begin to well, as embarrassment sets in, some of us bolder patients go digging around all of the drawers and cabinets in your office to find more napkins. And let me tell you, when I do, relief overcomes me as I wrap myself in as many darn napkins as I please. This may explain why you were unable to find any napkins for the next unsuspecting, sweet woman you brought to Exam Room 1.

But, for the sake of my sanity and some other not-so-bold patients, can you please re-think your draping situation? Maybe you could offer 4 to every woman, maybe you could find a new manufacturer. If money is the issue, maybe you could just ask each and every woman to bring their own sheet.

But please, do something.

Sincerely,
Your biggest and most loyal drape-hater.